Search
  • Dani Walpole

Ten Ridiculous Books I Would Write If I Had the Time

(featuring original cover art)



EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE ALL THE TIME: A MEMOIR

A universal story of love, loss, but mostly loss.

PLEASE FOLD YOUR PIZZA!!!!!: A New York Love Story.

I swear to God.

PLUNGE:

“What to Do When You’re at Your Friend’s House and the Toilet Won’t Flush”

Milkshake Duck: “We Regret to Inform You The Duck is Racist”

An examination of the modern-day limelight, with an exclusive foreword by Ken Bone.

A Family-Friendly Guide to Spelunking

like, cave exploring. It’s a thing. And it’s probably not family friendly.

K-Pop For Dummies, By Dummies

I know virtually nothing about k-pop, but I think people should know all of the info I’ve gleaned from twitter timeline osmosis. Like the word Yoongi. And Namjoon. And “bias”.

Splish Splash: The Fall of the Mass-Market Slip ’n’ Slide

I mean, when was the last time you saw a slip ’n’ slide?

TWENTY TWENTY SEVEN: Summer of Vlog

The nightmarish, e-dystopian, hit YA novel of the summer.

ASTROLOGY IS BULLS#!T, but…

(I don’t believe in astrology but that’s probably just because I’m a Leo)

JUST 400 FULL PAGES OF DOG NAMES

For small dogs: Newt, Walrus, Neville, Noodles, Linguini, Fettuccini, Penne, Winston, Ümlaut, Comma, Bunsen, Wiki, Zero, Joaquin, Typo, Ringo, Louis C.K., Zonko, Raymond, Kuma.For mid-sized dogs: Sirius, Flip, Hank, Socks, Mini Wheat, Candace, Kodak, Q-tip, Ringo, Bear, Kathy, Bert, Ernie, Weasel, Lemur, Snuffles, Bob Saget.For large dogs: Beaver, Earlobe, Nostril, Gwen Stefani, Firefox, Bunker, Moose, CBGB, Fizzie, Scrunchie, Numbles, Poppunky, Piles, Mohawk, The Pope.

This, but for 400 pages.





5 views0 comments