Ten Ridiculous Books I Would Write If I Had the Time
(featuring original cover art)
EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE ALL THE TIME: A MEMOIR
A universal story of love, loss, but mostly loss.
PLEASE FOLD YOUR PIZZA!!!!!: A New York Love Story.
I swear to God.
“What to Do When You’re at Your Friend’s House and the Toilet Won’t Flush”
Milkshake Duck: “We Regret to Inform You The Duck is Racist”
An examination of the modern-day limelight, with an exclusive foreword by Ken Bone.
A Family-Friendly Guide to Spelunking
like, cave exploring. It’s a thing. And it’s probably not family friendly.
K-Pop For Dummies, By Dummies
I know virtually nothing about k-pop, but I think people should know all of the info I’ve gleaned from twitter timeline osmosis. Like the word Yoongi. And Namjoon. And “bias”.
Splish Splash: The Fall of the Mass-Market Slip ’n’ Slide
I mean, when was the last time you saw a slip ’n’ slide?
TWENTY TWENTY SEVEN: Summer of Vlog
The nightmarish, e-dystopian, hit YA novel of the summer.
ASTROLOGY IS BULLS#!T, but…
(I don’t believe in astrology but that’s probably just because I’m a Leo)
JUST 400 FULL PAGES OF DOG NAMES
For small dogs: Newt, Walrus, Neville, Noodles, Linguini, Fettuccini, Penne, Winston, Ümlaut, Comma, Bunsen, Wiki, Zero, Joaquin, Typo, Ringo, Louis C.K., Zonko, Raymond, Kuma.For mid-sized dogs: Sirius, Flip, Hank, Socks, Mini Wheat, Candace, Kodak, Q-tip, Ringo, Bear, Kathy, Bert, Ernie, Weasel, Lemur, Snuffles, Bob Saget.For large dogs: Beaver, Earlobe, Nostril, Gwen Stefani, Firefox, Bunker, Moose, CBGB, Fizzie, Scrunchie, Numbles, Poppunky, Piles, Mohawk, The Pope.
This, but for 400 pages.